Panic Attacks

I need a vacation away from myself
An express paid trip to someone else’s conscious
There I can sit and experience this
The ordinary thoughts of an ordinary man
Give it an hour and then I’ll realize
These thoughts aren’t all that much different

But I live in a cage and those that do not
Make me feel worthless, make me feel small
I know this oppression is a self-realized thought
But how do you beat it when it’s still there
At every corner you turn
When it’s the thread in the fiber
The makings of who you are

When the solitude subsides to seclusion
Depression and god knows what else
I’ll ask for everything but what I need or want
Because that would just be too easy

And I'll die before I ever give you
the satisfaction of witnessing my panic attacks