How old were they?
I didn't care
It was two to the regular none
Neither of 'em looked bad
For that matter either
Back at the flat
Josie turned on the stereo
And they started flipping stations
Doing the "guess the group" game
They named most of the dance stuff
Some of the newer artists
I'd never heard of
While I named off stuff like Springsteen
Or Lowe
"What the hell is this old man shit?"
says Annette
Well, they weren't all that charming
or clever
But as I said
they didn't look bad either
Josie eventually wanted to order out
I ordered her into the bedroom
She thought I was joking
I only was on the outside
But we were eventually all sprawled
Right across the floor by the fireplace anyway
If they weren't drunk already
They were by the time I had the vodka ready
I'd headed back to the kitchen
To get some snacks or whatever
Then walked back to see them
All over eachother
Playfully sucking at eachother's
Skin
Here we go, I thought
Before I knew it I was on the floor too
Clothes were being removed
But their faces could not be
pried from one another
I tried to work my way in
But by the time I was between them
I heard snoring
They'd dozed off simultaneously
I was the pickle
I squeezed my way out
Walked back to the bar
Sucked on an olive and more alcohol
In the meantime the bartender
Told me about these two fake narcoleps
That loved to go home with bachelors
Then fall "asleep" and rob them blind
So I ran back home immediately
But they were still there
In the exact position when I'd left
One lying over the other
I laughed when I finally figured it out
I was just that boring
2 comments:
This is one of the stranger things you've written. Dunno if that's what you were going for, but that's how it appeared to me.
It's... interesting. Some of the lines seemed off, because I kept trying to read with with punctuation or a pause at the line break, and it wasn't there or shouldn't've been read as such, so it seemed weird. One or two lines seemed kind of superfluous.
The ending gives the impression it's said by someone trying-not-really-trying to be funny and everyone knowing it's not funny at all. "silly ass act" is the phrase (from a book I just read, lol) that comes to mind, although it's not really appropriate at all. "gentle self-deprecating humour" doesn't really seem to apply either, but for some reason that's what I'm thinking when I read it.
And by self-deprecating I'm not necessarily refering to _you_, of course, but the voice that speaks in the poem, the narrator.
Thank you, department of redundancy department xD
The playlist on your page is playing at the same time itunes is blaring LotR music... haha, weird combo.
Anyway... g'night. :)
You hadn't reviewed that one before, no... so thanks for the comment...
I'm tired... and it's barely midnight! now if i could just actually sleep, haha... so much to do tomorrow...
hope you're life is going good and stuff. :)
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