I don’t know who I am anymore
I noticed it on the bus
On my way home the other day
I was staring out the window
Looking at the clouds and sun
Looking for something that wasn’t there
And I don’t even know what it could be
It’s not like there was a catalyst or something
I’m a relatively normal teen
I didn’t just hit puberty
I didn’t recently get dumped or rejected
And no real lights have gone on
Or off
It’s just that I look out there
And I want to see something
That was never there
But all of the sudden
I want it to be
I don’t know if it’s an unconscious
Need for change of some kind
I’m too young for this
Is all I can think
All my friends worries are
Who they’re going to take to the prom
Or raising their Cs to Bs, Bs to As
I don’t care about any of that
I want to, but I don’t
No one has started to worry yet
At least not that I know of
This revelation was fairly recent
So these abrupt changes
Probably won’t be obvious
Until they start to settle in
I feel like I’ve moved far away
But I don’t want to move
I want to stay where I am
But I don’t want to miss it
Miss what?
Today we had more career training
It’s a common question
“What do you want to do with your life?”
But today it meant something else
It meant something completely different
What do I want to do with my life?
I…I… don’t know
Is what I want to do even…
Out there?
Does it even exist…?
Maybe it’s only in my head
…So why does it feel like it’s out there
But right in front of me
Watching and waiting
Waiting on what?
1 comment:
Theme song of my life.
This is good content. It really is.
I'm sorry you're feeling bad lately too :( And your birthday's coming up too, so that's really no way to feel! (Yes, I remember :P)
We need to cheer up. I just watched Star Trek to attempt to help with that, and it didn't. *shrug*
And by the way, your venting/air conditioning pun actually made me snort I laughed so hard. I don't know why, but instead of being lame, it's hysterical xD
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