Lola Castradora

No balls/If I have anything to say/Then I can't get behind it/
I want to say something striking/That's not laced with expletives/
I want to tell you I want you/but what's that worth

What's ever worth it

No guts/It goes from my stomach/Straight to my bowels/then
waits/Little oily pools of/gestated gesticulated waste/poking,
peering out of place

I wish I was a woman/So I could say these things/And someone
would care/But if I was a woman/I wouldn't say these things

So instead I sit
and watch you climb out the window
and fall five hundred stories
to concrete
and still laugh
when you hit
saying "Come on down.
the weather's great."
But I'm stuck
And the biggest part of me
Deep down, the only part that matters
Wants it this way
Because it's easier
And the sun isn't always yellow
But it isn't always burning my skin either

No balls to speak of/Maybe I should just get it over with/and
paint my nails/the brightest shade of pink available

I wish I were a woman/so I could kiss you/and we'd laugh about
it/then still be friends

You say things that make me feel so small
I want to crawl inside your head and steal it
I want to own you
But can never say it
Because it's this seeming impossibility
On the concrete path you're always landing