Endomorph

My hair is always falling out
But I've always got too much
I continue to hurt all over
Even with 8 hours or more
But I swear I think of you too
I swear

The man tells me time is an illusion
But how can I believe him at all
When I'm older, grayer, deader
With every passing moment
Sitting here thinking of you
But never saying hello
or asking how the kid's are

It's almost like I don't care

It's the things we believe that drive us
But I can't put myself wholly into any of it
Here he says there's only beauty
The other says there's only depth
Can't there be some sort of...
Sacrifice
No matter how small?

I've been dreaming bigger things lately
Not just something that would make a good book
or movie or song or album or painting
More along the lines of how I can help this
Beautiful, fucked up world
And if it even needs helping

But I swear I still think of you too
I do

This will all sound so stupid when I'm sober

You know how I know I'm not a woman?
Because I have a penis
You know how I know I'm not gay?
Because I'm not attracted to men
You know how I know I'm not you?
Because I'm not a blind-sided moron

I don't state my feelings
Then say they're a joke
When they're not

You know why I let you bother me?
Because there's nothing better to do tonight
You know why you bother me so much?
Because I've heard it all my life
And wiped it off my shoulder
or tried to
And now I'm just sick of it
So fucking sick I could hurt you
But if I hurt you then I'd be you
And there goes my whole point

What's the point of points?
To those that do not care to hear them
That do not hear them
Because they can't think outside of
Their own head

Think outside your head and you might see what's at stake

You could destroy it all with the right (wrong) words
There's a beauty in that, and there's a fear
A big huge fear that can destroy you if you let it
But what are you to the world?

Maybe you're right
Maybe this conceited way is the way to go
But how can you know?
You may be happy from ear to ear
But your soul, your fucking soul...
Does it no longer exist
or does it just slowly diminish...?

I don't cry for you
I hate you
I cry for us all
And I die
Alone
But with some ill-fated form of content
deep down

...Is that really so much better?
IS IT?

I don't know
I still do not know

Banshees and Bagpipes

There must be some ill-fated
Etched-out form of a scapegoat
In this world I write
Or maybe it’s just a culmination
Of a wide empty spectrum of
Too much time for nothing
The devil’s in the details
The details are vaguer by the minute

Tyrants sleep easy
But I can’t get a wink
These walls are thinner than
Sheet cake
You, slowly eating through to get me
I’m lonely, but not that lonely

Surprise me with a drink tonight
Mix it with all the things I done
A little dye for color
And syrup for flavor
A little ice, but let it melt
Making it slight and stale
Because that’s all I can handle
Right now

Hombre del señor
Con los planes imposibles
No significo traerte
realista donde vives
Pero apagar por favor tu stereo
por lo menos entre las horas
de 1 y 7
Quiero dormir

Shakespeare Allusion 8,001

Wait till you're tired enough
To wake up
More time tired
is less time wasted

Hold till there's something to say
To shut up
Save them all the
noise pollution

Don't you just wanna stand
in the middle of the street
and scream as loud as
you possibly can?
Who the hell does it harm
Besides your own apprehension
All you get is some dirty look
A couple of what-the-fucks
Then everyone's back to the way it was

"I'm so sick of them saying
'What have you got to lose?!'
What have I got to lose?!
My privacy!
My integrity!
My pride!
My sanity!
My tube-vision!
My dreamscape!
My head!"

What drives me insane
What drives you insane
What drives us insane is the way
We don't wanna be so insane
Is that normal?
Am I fucked?
What's my problem?
I must be losing it
HahahahaHAHAHAHA

...

Wait till you're in love enough
To break their hearts
They will not
see it coming

Wait till the moment you are close enough
To push it away
Like the seamless way all your contradictions
Form some sort of semblance
In this absolute reverse of the truth

Oh no,
just let me
sleep on it

They took 'fear' out of the dictionary today
I don't know if I should be happy or sad that
I no longer have a name for this thing here
That's very real, very scary, oh no

De la Galerie

You said to me
Vous m’avez dit
You said to me
Vous m’avez dit

Live for the best times
Live with the worst
You know it never ends
Until it all ends one day
Johnny Hallyday sticks his head
through my window and smiles

You said to me
Vous m’avez dit
You said to me
Vous m’avez dit

S'ils me jugent
après une nuit
dont le défaut
est celui?

You said to me
You said to me
I’ve danced here with you
Too long
Now I just wanna go home
And sleep
And wake-up to this impending
Hang-over de l'âme
Or something even more melodramatic
Than that

La lumiere est lumineux
Bais je me sens toujours
comme je pourrais
mourir
mort