at first you just want a friend. then you get a little older and you just want a girl.
but your shitty friends continually bring you down and insult any of your attempts at happiness.
in some cases, they even fuck up your chances with the girl you really want.

next, you realize women aren't as wonderful as you once thought they were, that they too are human and even if you somehow someway had some sort of relationship with one, all your problems would still be there, and perhaps even more considering how fucked up she may be too. so you end up hating women too.

so now you just want to be alone. but the world has beaten you and degraded you so much that you now also hate yourself. and you realize you just want to be dead; but that's not an option. so you laugh, because it feels better than crying. and you laugh at everything and never give them any satisfaction of a reaction besides laughter. and because you laugh people think you are an imbecile and find you boring and you're alone again. and finally, you realize you just want to be alone, because out of all the things and people you hate, you can still at least put up with yourself.

most of the time.